Don't bite the hand that feeds you?

I’m in the room. It’s a typical Sunday night. 

I’m tapping away at my keyboard, which is how my mother describes my freelance endeavors.

Particularly, I was typing this tweet in preparation for posting in the coming week:

Do you guys have haters, or am I just not influential enough?

The universe woke up from her sleep, eager to answer my question with this dreadful notification:

I did what?!?!

Who reported where how when?

Confusion set off my journey through the five stages of grief

Denial

God knows these claims are complete and utter BS.

A human would, too, but X’s great overload has decided working with bots suits his personality better.

Anger

I was making such great traction this last week, and now that’s all… gone?

What happens to the conversations I was having?

The creators I’d reached out to and those who may want to reach out to me but who are now met with a big accusatorial “Hope is not to be trusted” banner on my account?

fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

Bargaining

Does anyone know how to speak bot so I can successfully appeal my case to the ones responsible for this random and unjustified action?

Depression

Regrettably, I’m no stranger to receiving bad news, but this one hit me particularly hard.

You can tell it hit me particularly hard from the dream I went on to have Sunday night:

A child I was babysitting wouldn’t stop projectile pissing all over me.

The subconscious mind doesn’t do subtlety.

Acceptance

Kuende vile kutaenda, which is a Swahili phrase we use in Kenya to denote acquiescence with whatever misfortune has befallen us that day.

Even if Mr. AI finds that I was, in fact, trying to evade a suspension I’ve never faced, that’ll be fine by me. 🙂👍🏼

With acceptance came a startling realization.

Those familiar with my content on X may also be familiar with my calls to freelancers to diversify their client bases.

A freelancer with one client is just a glorified employee without benefits imo.

But alas, dear, gentle reader, I am a walking, talking contradiction.

A deer in headlights whose sole creative outlet has sent her the most inexplicable and unwarranted breakup text in the history of inexplicable and unwarranted breakup texts.

A professional beginner

I’ve played the newsletter game before.

I have a “blog on wheels” called Kessentials, which is a whole year old now, lol. How time flies.

Anyway, on Kessentials, the initial idea was for me to write about contemporary issues in the news or cover gossip on Kenyans’ lips in a Hope-y voice.

It didn’t do so hot because I was mostly directionless.

Then work came in the way, and I let go of it almost entirely. It still exists, but more in name than in functionality.

Turns out the secret compass I’d been missing all along was… 🥁🥁🥁… a niche.

Cruel as X has been to me these past couple of weeks, one thing I most likely wouldn’t have found had I not started writing there is clarity of thought and a sense of direction.

I guess those are two things. Whatever.

Now, I know I’m on fire for freelancing, and more so for guiding independent workers a few steps behind me (and even those in front; wink wink, a girl can dream, wink wink).

And boy, am I ready to commodify tf out of that compass. And my experiences, of course. ;)

These first couple of newsletter copies will inevitably suck.

I’m not only okay with that. I’m EXCITED AF to eat shit as I learn the ropes and cringe as I read my introductory posts next month.

To start is to suck. 

I’m very grateful my perfectionist tendencies don’t convince me to avoid novelty to protect my ego. 

’til we get it right, we gon’ edit some more 

Speaking of my perfectionist tendencies, idk if it’s just me, but I will peruse and edit and polish content ad nauseam after writing it, worse so the longer said content is.

It’s one of the reasons I had to give Kessentials up – I’d spend literally forever in editor mode because this joke is punchier when I say it like this, this synonym more impactful than the last.

This trait makes me kick ass at my jobs.

(I’m a writer/editor, BTW. Nice to meet ya.)

But then, when it comes to stuff like this, I can spiral endlessly and not get much done in the time constraints I’ve found necessary to set for myself.

Just as X clarified my outlook on my brand, I hope this newsletter helps me shake off some of those less-than-desirable aspects of my writing process.

In the meantime, I can promise you a couple of things if you stick with me for the ride:

• Straight sauce that the character counter stops me from sharing on X.

• A witty, informative, and inspirational perspective on everything freelancing, borrowed from my 6+ years of experience and observations.

• Lots of analogies because that seems to be the only way I can communicate nowadays. And when you think I’ve overused them, don’t worry. That’s just the beginning.

• Occasional corny jokes because, as was demonstrated by this post, y’all don’t mind that I’m a cob baby.

You’re a guinea pig in what is, for now, a passion project, but which I hope will become an even bigger source of insight and $$ (for both of us!) than X could ever be.

It’s freeing to be new because you’re not as beholden to as many people and their opinions and expectations as larger creators are.

Still, rest assured that I take this, you, your presence, your time, and your belief in me super seriously.

And unlike the billionaire helming the platform where we first met, I’m

Update: Account restored. For now.

Keep Freeing Right,

Hope. :)